The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Trump scallywags be wantin’ treasure maps, while Harris buccaneers be happy with a tale or two!

2024-09-23

Arrr, me hearties! The rascals on the 'Gutfeld!' deck be jawin’ 'bout why ye scallywags ought to hoist yer sails for a certain captain in the 2024 treasure hunt! Aye, vote wisely or ye might end up walkin’ the plank with Davy Jones! Har har!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as we chart the murky waters of the political high seas, where the likes of Captain Trump and Lady Harris be sailin' under different flags! Behold the stark contrast, where Trump’s crew be expectin’ action while Harris’s band be content with mere words. A Trump enthusiast be hankerin’ for deeds, whilst a Harris supporter casts their vote as if it be a treasure map to virtue! Arrr, the act of votin’ be the whole voyage for them!

But alas! It seems the Democrat ship be adrift, for they care naught for specifics, only the glorious act of opposing Trump! They be switchin’ candidates like they be tradin’ fine rum, expectin’ ye to vote for any scallywag that rises against the captain of the opposition, even if it be a lass with a questionable noggin!

When questioned about real issues, many a Harris voter retreats like a cowardly sea dog before a cannon blast! They’ve been led to believe their singular vote be the bravest of all actions. So, savvy ye mates, when engaging these loyal followers, ye be best off debunkin’ the tall tales of their biased news, and givin’ them a taste of the truth! For even a ship full of gullible sailors can be turned around with a nudge in the right direction! Arrr!

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