The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Kamala’s town hall be more staged than a parrot dressed in fancy pants!

2024-10-22

Arrr! Fox News scallywags Greg Gutfeld and his hearty crew be chattin' about Vice President Kamala Harris’s town hall with that landlubber Liz Cheney in the wilds of Michigan! Aye, ‘tis a right spectacle, like a two-headed parrot squawkin’ at a wooden leg!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of one Kamala, who held a town hall last night, filled with all the spontaneity of a synchronized swim team. A fair lass in the audience dared to ask, “Can we toss a question into the sea?” But alas, the winds of fate blew against her, for the fair moderator Maria said, “Nay, we’ve a treasure chest of predetermined queries!”

Aye, it appears the audience was but a prop in this grand spectacle, much like Kamala herself, who struggles with even the scripted words. It be a sight to behold, her “legendary word salads”—a banquet of gibberish fit for a ship's deck. She blabbers on about democracy bein' strong yet fragile, as if it be a fine porcelain teacup in a raucous tavern.

And then there be Trump, that scallywag, painted as the unserious one while he built empires and raised a fine crew, whilst Kamala be half-Indian and half-hyena? Aye, the irony be thick as grog! Look around, even Liz Cheney seemed to ponder her life choices, thinkin’, “I left my party for this?”

In the end, this orchestrated affair was but a stage play, keepin’ the truth from the good folk, lest they see the real enemy within. So hoist the sails, me hearties, and let’s navigate these turbulent political waters with a hearty laugh and a bottle of rum!

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