The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"The one treasure Trump snagged that those scallywag Democrats be too proud to confess!"

2024-11-12

Arrr, those landlubber Democrats be as lost as a ship without a compass! They wouldn’t know a treasure map from a sack of seaweed, I tell ye! Blinded by their own squawking, they be! Aye, a merry crew of confusion they be, sailing in circles 'round a barrel of monkeys!

Arrr, mateys! The Democrats be scratchin’ their heads after last Tuesday’s grand election, which be a mighty big swing to the starboard since the days of Ronald Reagan! They be searchin’ high and low for where they be steppin’ wrong, but alas, they be as lost as a ship without a compass!

Many a scallywag on the Left be blindin’ themselves to the fact that a heap of hearty Americans be fond of that rascally Donald Trump! They be so caught in their own stormy seas of hatred that they can’t see why folks might wanna share a tankard with him. Meanwhile, they be havin’ a merry time pointin’ fingers at each other, blame and shame flyin’ about like cannonballs!

Some be sayin’ ol’ Joe Biden should’ve walked the plank sooner, while others be claimin’ Kamala Harris ran a lackluster campaign by refusin’ to hop on Joe Rogan’s ship! Bernie be shoutin’ about rootin’ for the working folk, but the Democrats be throwin’ gold at the college crowd instead! And yet, not one of ‘em admits that Trump be likable—not a single soul! They be livin’ in a cozy bubble where Trump be the villain, but the masses be seein’ him as a jolly ol’ pirate! So hoist the sails, me hearties, ‘cause the GOP be laughin’ all the way to the treasure chest!

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