Arrr, I be rotting in the brig fer three dozen years fer naught but a scallywag's mistake! Trump’s pardons be a fine treasure!
2025-04-03
Arrr, matey! Trump be no ordinary captain! While Biden, Obama, and Clinton be waitin’ ‘til the ship’s last voyage to free their scallywags, Trump be tossin’ ‘em overboard early! Aye, that be the course for a true buccaneer! Avast, let the pardons roll!
Ahoy, mateys! For a treacherous 36 years, I be markin’ time behind cold, iron bars, servin' a life sentence for a crime I ne’er committed! I missed me spawn’s first day o' school, me lass’s wedding, and me dear mother’s farewell, all while the real scallywag roamed free like a ghost! Arrr, the true tale be not just of wrongful imprisonment, but of a rare treasure — early freedom! In the year of our Lord, 2017, that swashbucklin' Governor Eric Greitens granted me clemency, breakin' the mold of waitin' till the end of a term.Now, it seems presidents hoard their pardons like pirates hoard gold! From ol' Trump to Obama, they all favor waitin’ till the last minute to let loose the chains of mercy. But why the delay, ye ask? 'Tis the fear of backlash from the landlubbers! I be knowin’ this truth behind bars, watchin' spirits transformed into scholars, yet the scorn of politics be overshadowin’ them!
Me own tale proves the folly of delayin' justice — six governors turned a blind eye to me case till the seventh saw the light! With timely mercy, we could save this nation a fortune, redirectin' funds toward education and health! The folks agree, from both sides of the ship, that clemency be not a political hot potato but a moral compass — a chance for redemption and a fairer future! Let us unite in this quest for second chances! Arrr!