The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! At the VP squabble, a new star be born, and Trump be laughin’ like a scallywag!

2024-10-02

Arrr, after the moonlit Tuesday, Sen. Vance be a mighty giant 'mongst them Republican scallywags! His words be weighty as a chest o' doubloons, and he'll be shakin' the seas o' campaigning more than a drunken sailor on a rickety ship, aye!

Arrr, gather 'round, ye scallywags, for I be tellin' ye of a debate that sailed the seas of awkwardness! In the grand showdown, Sen. JD Vance strutted like a proud parrot, calm and collected, while Gov. Tim Walz trembled like a barnacle-laden boat in a storm! The poor lad's nerves were on display, makin' it hard to believe he be part o' a national crew.

After the dust settled, me heartie, I and Callista found ourselves convinced that Vance had emerged victorious, a true captain of the debate seas! This triumph gave a hearty pat on the back to ol' Trump for pickin' Vance so early in his voyage. With the spirit of a young Richard Nixon, Vance could be a fixture in the political brig until the year 2066!

As the mornin' sun rose, commentators echoed the laughter, declaring Walz not just defeated, but ‘clobbered’! His missteps, like walkin' the plank, left him lookin' like a knucklehead, especially when he claimed to befriend school shooters and spun yarns about bein' in Tiananmen Square. Now, Walz be seen as unfit to steer the ship of state, while Vance's star be risin' among the Republicans. A night o' triumph it was, indeed!

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