The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Yarr, Vance and Walz be squabblin'! Thinkin' debates be naught? Avast! Here be six jests to prove ye wrong!"

2024-09-30

Arrr, on Tuesday night, the scallywag JD Vance’ll clash swords o’ words with the guber’nor Tim Walz, from the frozen north! Don’t be thinkin’ this be naught but a merry jig; it be a battle that could shake the very sea! Hoist the sails and gather ye crew!

Arrr matey, gather 'round fer a tale of the vice presidential debates that be steerin’ ships and shakin’ the timbers of campaigns! Aye, they say the second-in-command be naught but a sidekick, but blow me down, these debates be more crucial than a parrot on a pirate’s shoulder!

Cast yer eyes back to 1976, where Mondale and Dole exchanged barbs like cannon fire! Mondale called out Dole fer claimin’ that Democrats started every war since Moses was a lad. Then in ‘84, Bush faced Ferraro after Reagan had a senior moment, and lo and behold, the debate turned the tide, puttin’ the wind back in Reagan’s sails!

Fast forward to ‘88 when Bentsen told Quayle flat out, "Ye be no Jack Kennedy!" Aye, that stung like a jellyfish! Then in 2000, Cheney turned the tides somethin’ fierce against Lieberman, makin’ it clear that policy wonks can still win yer heart. And don’t forget Biden in 2012, shoutin’ down Ryan like a captain rallyin’ his crew!

So here we be, with Vance and Walz preparin’ fer their own duel. Will it be a smooth-talking policy whiz or a fiery challenger? Whichever way the wind blows, these debates be more than just a jolly good show—they could decide the fate of the seven seas, or at least the next election! Arrr!

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