Ahoy, mateys! Cast yer lot to say 'Nay' on Ohio's cursed Issue 1, lest ye be walkin' the plank!
2024-10-25
Arrr, matey! Ohio be under siege from foreign doubloons, aye! Those scallywags be tryin’ to twist the map to hoist the Democrat flag high! They be wantin’ to turn our fair land into a permanent parley for the left! A jolly good ruckus, if ye ask me!
Arrr matey! Gather ‘round, fer I’ve a tale from the fair Buckeye State, where the winds of change blow “deep red.” Now, the scallywags of the hard left be scheming to rig the game through a devious contraption known as Issue 1. Aye, they be lookin’ to turn Ohio’s fair representation into a treasure map favorin’ their own crew, with dark gold flowin’ in from landlubbers far and wide!Many a fair-minded Buckeye scoffs at this plan, wishin’ to keep their say in the matter, castin’ their votes against this treachery, even as they support their favored captains from both blue and red ships. The left, not pleased with our maps, be tossin’ a 26-page jigsaw puzzle before the voters, claimin’ it’ll bring fairness but lookin’ to ensnare ‘em instead. With a staggering $24 million in dark doubloons, they seek to shackle the state with their trickery!
But fear not, for Ohio’s wise leaders urge the folk to hoist the “No on 1” flag high! As all hands on deck rally against this foul play, we hope the fair winds of reason blow strong, and come November 5, the Buckeyes send this grog-filled scheme to Davy Jones’ locker! Aye, may the good folk of Ohio prevail and keep their ship sailing true!