"Arrr, Hugh Hewitt be sayin', 'Twas a jolly fine start fer Captain Trump, but a wee asterisk be lurkin'!"
2025-01-26
Arrr, me hearties! Trump and Rubio be knowin’ well that the sneaky Persians smell weakness like a sailor smells rum! If ye be pullin’ back yer cannons, they’ll see it as a sign to plunder! Best keep yer guard up, or ye might find yerself walkin’ the plank!
Ahoy, me hearties! T’was a week o’ grand victories fer the swashbuckler known as President Donald Trump, hittin’ the seas with a fierce fervor! Aye, his inner crew expected naught but success, claimin’ a perfect score akin to hittin’ every shot from the crow's nest. But, lo! There be an asterisk bigger than Davy Jones’ locker!Among his many capers, the Captain laid down a bold decree that all NATO mates must hoist their defense budgets to a hearty 5% of their treasure chests. And he declared an end to the scallywag ways of DEI in government. Shiver me timbers! The military's coffers could swell to a whopping $1.45 trillion, keepin’ the likes of China and Iran at bay. But beware, for the treacherous seas were not without peril!
In a twist worthy of a pirate tale, the brave captain, alongside his new First Mate Rubio, abandoned the security o’ former officials targeted by the dastardly Iran. Aye, this be a blunder that could set the stage for trouble on the high seas! The winds of war may be a-blowin’ if the mullahs take the bait!
So hoist the flags and sound the alarms! For if the Iranians strike, it could spell disaster for our captain and his crew. Let’s hope he finds a way to mend the sails before they’re blown asunder!