Arrr, matey! Four jolly tricks for Trump to swab the drug deck and hoist America’s health flag high!
2025-04-07
Arrr! President Trump be shufflin’ the deck on drug policy, savvy? He be callin’ fer a grand PR campaign to swab the decks and sink them scallywag cartels, all while chantin’ “Make America Healthy Again!” Ho ho! A fine treasure hunt fer good health, ye scurvy dogs!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with news from the high seas o’ politics! Our cap’n, President Donald Trump, be set to take on the scourge o’ addiction in the land, summonin’ the mighty ONDCP, or as we be callin’ it, the “drug czar,” to lead the charge in makin’ America healthy again!For too long, this brave office has been tucked away in the shadows, like a scallywag hidin’ from a cannonball! It be time to hoist the sails and put the ONDCP back in the limelight! With close to 100,000 souls perishing each year from overdoses, our captain must rally the crew, gather families, lawmen, and healers to share the tales o’ woe that drugs be bringin’ upon our shores.
Now, let’s whip up a fine message to fend off those pesky drug pirates ensnarin’ our young crew! Aye, a clever campaign must be launched, teachin’ the wee lads and lasses about the perils of the devil’s concoctions! We need a “drug cabinet,” led by Trump himself, to steer the ship of policy with a firm hand!
As the tides of addiction rise, it be clearer than the Caribbean sea: ye can’t make America healthy with a bounty o’ drugs. So, raise a toast to the ONDCP, for we shall make it great again and drive the scourge from our precious land! Yarrr!