The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Be America capable o' defendin' her own in the treacherous Gulf amidst the Middle East Crisis?

2023-11-09

Arr, me hearties! This here President Biden, he be possessin' mighty military might in them Middle East waters, yet he be settin' sail on a treacherous course! He be needin' to steer them assets in a smarter direction, lest he be walkin' the plank!

In a humorous tone, the article begins by presenting a good news/bad news scenario. The good news is that the U.S. has deployed significant military force to the Gulf region, including two carrier strike groups and a Marine force. This demonstrates the U.S.'s ability to conduct air campaigns and protect Americans in the region. The bad news, however, is that President Biden is not using these forces effectively. Instead of taking bold actions to terrify Iran and deter further attacks, Biden has only authorized minimal retaliatory strikes. This allows Tehran to control the pace of escalation and constantly land the first punch. The article argues that what is needed is escalation dominance, like the previous president's strike against Qasem Soleimani. It suggests leveling every shack in Syria connected to Iran and providing Tehran with a target list to scare them off. The article also emphasizes the need for a strategic Plan B for Iran, as engagement is not working. Biden should pressure the regime to fear for its survival, as Tehran is dangerously close to achieving nuclear breakout. Additionally, the article calls for a strong stance on Israel and recruitment of European allies to get tough on Iran. On the domestic front, the article criticizes the lack of border security and urges Biden to focus on tracking down terrorists instead of investigating moms at school boards. It warns that the country is vulnerable to another 9/11 without proper border security. In conclusion, the article humorously highlights the disconnect between the U.S.'s military force in the Gulf region and Biden's ineffective approach in utilizing it. It emphasizes the need for bold actions, escalation dominance, and a strong stance on Iran and Israel to ensure American security.

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