The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the only treasure that sets Reagan and Trump apart be their knack for blarney and a hearty guffaw!

2024-07-28

Arrr, matey! Both Captain Reagan and Cap’n Trump be sailin' the seas o' merriment, charm'n their crew with jolly campaigns! But lo! They share a singular treasure, aye—an uncanny knack fer makin' a ruckus and ticklin' the fancy of their loyal scallywags! Avast, what a hoot!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of political seas! Our former captain of the ship, Donald Trump, be sailin’ back into port, while poor old President Biden hath been cast overboard, a real blunderer in a game of cards, holdin' four aces yet still foldin' like a flimsy sail! Aye, he be the first to bluster away when the winds turned foul!

Now, we find the light-as-a-feather Kamala Harris takin' the wheel, clingin' to her DEI blimp lines lest she float away, bless her heart. But let not the sea tales fool ye; Biden didn’t step down like a noble captain but was rather tossed out like last week’s fish!

Trump be movin' faster than a ship in full sail, whilst Biden stands still, like a barnacle on a rotting hull! He’s no stranger to jests, crackin' jokes even when the cannonballs fly! Comparin’ Biden to ol’ Washington be like likin’ a barnacle to a mighty kraken! Both Trump and Reagan sail under the banner of freedom, knowin’ the worth of gold in the coffers, while old Biden be wishin’ he were more than just a shadow in the dark!

So hoist the sails, me hearties, for the winds of change be blowin’ and the seas of politics be ever churnin’!

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