The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, matey! The mornin' bloom: What the grand games be teachin' Trump’s crew 'bout swashbucklin' showmanship!"

2024-07-30

Arrr, the left be like a cannonball in a teacup, always settin' sail to offend! So hoist the sails and keep yer eye on Kamala Harris and them San Francisco scallywags—they be the real treasure on this here wild sea of politics!

Ahoy mateys, gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' the grand opening of the Paris Olympics! It be a sight that made many a landlubber clutch their pearls, as the spectacle sailed from headless Marie Antoinette to a cheeky jest o' The Last Supper. Parents be changin' the channel faster than ye can say “shiver me timbers!”

Even the presence of that Snoop Dogg didn’t keep the folks glued to their screens. What should’ve been a rousin' march o' athletes turned into a soggy boat parade, swimmin' amidst excess and bewilderment. Aye, ‘twas a low tide moment, and let’s hope the organizers of the Los Angeles Games take heed: “Keep it about the athletes, ye scallywags!”

The organizers, bless their hearts, offered the classic non-apology, tryin' to spin their oddity as a message o' love and inclusion. But, as the wise ol' sea dog says, “KISS” — Keep It Simple, Stupid! When vision outstrips sense, disaster be sure to follow!

So, me hearties, let’s keep our eyes peeled. If the winds shift and Harris takes the helm, we might find ourselves sailin' straight into San Francisco waters, where chaos reigns and common sense mutinies! Arrr, may the stars guide us to calmer seas!

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