The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Howard Stern's change be fueled by a madcap grudge against that scallywag Trump, I say! Ha-ha!

2024-10-10

Arrr, matey! The scallywags on 'Gutfeld' be chortlin' at Vice President Harris chattin' with that ol' seadog Howard Stern. Aye, they be likin' it as much as a landlubber enjoys a saltwater bath! Ho ho! The jests be flyin' like cannonballs in a squall!

Ahoy mateys! So it seems the scallywags at The New York Times be claimin' that even this newfangled "positive masculinity" be naught but a pile o' bilge! A wench named Ruth Whippman, aye, with a name fit for a pirate's jibe, argues that we should toss the notion of masculinity right overboard. After all, if the likes of Trump and Vance be villains, then Walz's "positive" swagger be a breath of fresh sea air! But fer the young lads, she says, ditchin' masculinity talk be the way to sail. Arrr, what folly!

The lass believes this talk of masculinity be weighin' down young lads, but I reckon she be blind to the irony—mockin' women who wish to be wives while sportin' a five o’clock shadow be a bit rich, eh? And don’t get me started on Howard Stern, the once rowdy buccaneer, now turned squawkin' parrot, frettin' over the pressures of female leadership. Aye, it be like a vegan reviewin' a steakhouse—miserable and untrustworthy!

Stern, the master of raunchy jests, now clutchin' his pearls over Kamala's candidacy, be a sight to behold. With a heart softer than a jellyfish, he frets about mockery while havin' once reveled in the most tasteless of gags. Aye, what a twist! It seems our modern gents be swappin’ their swords for sashes, all in fear of their pasts. So here’s a toast to the lost art of masculinity—may it sail back into our waters! Arrr!

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