The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, three figures tell the tale o' November's vote – 'twasn’t about Kamala, me hearty!"

2024-12-06

When Captain Joe Biden hoisted his flag in 2021, he set sail on a grand adventure: to show all scallywags that the ship of American government ain't just a leaky tub, but can sail true and steady! Arrr, a bold quest indeed!

Ahoy, mateys! As we sail into the stormy seas of November, the winds be blowin' strong with the word that Captain Biden be flounderin'! Aye, ye heard right! The fella’s got a mere 30% of scallywags thinkin’ the ship's on the right course, and only 40% givin’ him a thumbs-up, whilst a mighty 97% of Trump’s crew proclaimin’ “things were better when he ruled the waves!” Arrr!

Now, as Biden took the helm, he aimed to prove that the government be a trusty vessel, sailin' smooth through the choppy waters of COVID and beyond. He conjured up grand plans for infrastructure, shots-in-arms, and alliances against the dark forces of China and Russia. But alas, the crew be feelin’ naught but skepticism, as ol’ COVID be returnin’ with new variants, and the Afghanistan fiasco left a foul taste in the bilge.

In the end, while the captain might’ve set some sails in motion, his fate be writ in the stars as a one-term captain, with nary a chance for any matey of the Democratic crew to rise again. So batten down the hatches, for the pirate ship of politics be headed for stormy waters indeed! Arrr!

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