The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Bragg be battlin’ Trump while NYC sinks in crime—how's lockin’ a landlubber keepin' us safe, eh?

2024-11-21

Arrr! The wildest tale o' Bragg's Trump hunt be a political caper, matey! Claimin’ this prized scalp be the kind o' treasure that Democrats be dreamin' 'bout whilst swabbin' the decks! Aye, a jolly good haul fer the landlubbers!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the shenanigans of them so-called "progressive" prosecutors—from Chesa Boudin to Alvin Bragg, who be raisin' eyebrows higher than a crow’s nest! They be defendin’ their non-prosecution policies like a drunken sailor defendin’ his last bottle o' rum, arguin’ they be savin’ resources for the real scallywags. But lo and behold, Bragg, the buccaneer of Manhattan’s court, be caught in the stormy sea of public ire after his infamous memo sailed through the town like a shipwrecked galley!

Now, ye see, while the good captain Bragg claims he be focusin’ on the worst of the lot, he be spendin’ a treasure trove on chasin’ a former president instead of wranglin’ in the real crime-lovin' rogues. A million doubloons for outside counsel, aye, and a day’s costs that would choke a whale! Meanwhile, the streets of Manhattan be crawlin’ with dangerous scallywags, stabbin’ and thievin’ like it be the good ol’ days of piracy!

As we chart a course toward the elections, one wonders, will New Yorkers finally hoist the Jolly Roger and demand change, or will they continue to let Bragg run amok? By me beard, the question be clear: Was it worth chasin' the ghost of a president while the real villains plunder the streets? Arrr, only time will tell!

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