The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! I be a Trump emissary, and here be three jolly jinxes sinkin' the Harris ship!

2024-11-01

Arrr, matey! The election be nigh, yet three pesky barnacles be draggin' down Kamala Harris's ship! I know it well, for I sailed the seas as an ambassador for the Trump crew. Aye, the winds be not favorin' her!

Aye mateys, gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of a tempestuous political race, where the former captain of the ship, Donald Trump, be gaining the wind in his sails as the fall breeze blows! In New Hampshire, a state as blue as the depths of the sea, the polls be showing a fierce contest, while Senator Fetterman be callin’ Trump’s support "astonishin'." Arrr, even a quarter o’ the crew thinks the ship’s headed in the right direction under Biden and his matey, Kamala Harris, but alas, they’re sorely mistaken!

Now Harris, bless her heart, can’t recall a single thing she’d do different, which be as confounding as a three-headed sea serpent! She wants to raise the anchor on taxes while the rich scallywags already pay a hefty fare. Meanwhile, the good ol’ companies like Google and Apple be feelin’ the sting of the Biden-Harris policies more than a shark bite!

And let us not forget the immigration storm they unleashed, with crossings shootin’ up like cannonballs! Energy policies be as muddled as a drunken sailor, pushin’ for a green revolution while the price of rum—er, gas—skyrockets. Harris be singin’ a different tune now, but her crew remains loyal to their green cause. As the autumn leaves fall, it seems this race may belong to the former captain after all, with Harris and her crew left to ponder their fate upon the waves of mischief!

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