The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, both Harris and Trump be needin' a treasure map to solve this housing hullabaloo!

2024-08-27

Arrr, matey! The great housing storm be not weighin' heavy on the minds of Captain Trump and Lady Harris, but ‘tis a fine mess that needs settlin’. To mend it proper, let’s toss the rules overboard and steer clear of foolish notions like rent control, savvy?

Ahoy there, mateys! The fair Vice President Kamala Harris be tryin' to toss a treasure map our way to solve the housing crisis, but it be lookin' like a shipwreck! Former Captain Trump be naught keen on lettin' more homes rise in our fine suburbs, and if I had to wager me doubloons, I'd bet a barrel o' rum on a thousand monkeys writin' "King Lear" 'fore either of them be fixin' our woes!

In me latest tome, "Nowhere to Live: The Hidden Story of America’s Housing Crisis," I be chroniclin' the blunders of landlubber policies that left us in this calamitous state. Harris thinks federal rent control will save the day, but nay! It be as effective as a wooden leg in a storm—destroyin' cities faster than cannon fire!

Now, Trump be singin' the praises of single-family zones, but he be blind to the fact that they keep good folks from buildin' humble abodes. Harris be shovelin' gold to new homebuyers, but beware! With the government throwin' cash like confetti, the cost of livin' will soar higher than a crow's nest!

What we truly need be less government meddlin' and more freedom for landlubbers to build where they please. So hoist the sails, me hearties! Let’s chart a course for sensible housing, or we’ll be swimmin’ in a sea of bureaucratic nonsense forever! Arrr!

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