The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Riley Gaines be fightin' for fairness in lasses' games—dangerous waters, but a treasure worth plunderin'!

2024-11-22

Arrr, matey! Women’s sports be walkin’ the plank as scallywags in trousers join the fray! It be a right ruckus, threatenin’ fair lasses’ chances and safety! Now, this hullabaloo be settin’ sail for the federal court! Avast, what a jolly mess!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn o' the high seas of sportin’ drama! Come November 27, a fierce crew o’ six women’s volleyball teams from the Mountain West Conference be settin’ sail for Las Vegas to vie for their championship booty. But lo and behold, an unruly tempest brews! Eleven brave lasses and a coach be takin’ their grievances to the federal court, claimin’ their rights be trampled like barnacles ‘neath a ship’s hull. Aye, it be a stormy handful o’ weeks for these fine wenches!

At the heart o’ this ruckus lies San Jose State University, whose record sparkles like a treasure map, but wait, what’s this? Seven of their victories be from forfeits, as rival teams refuse to tussle with ‘em! The cause o’ this mutiny? A male player on their squad, stirrin’ up a sea of controversy. Teams from Southern Utah to Nevada be cryin’ foul, demandin’ justice in court and a fair fight for the fairer sex!

This rebellious movement, christened "Project BOYcott," be a rallyin’ cry for women’s rights in the face o’ injustice. With courage firin’ in their bellies, these lassies be fightin’ for the right to compete without fear of bein’ overrun by male competitors. So hoist the flags of freedom, me hearties! It’s time to set sail for fairness on the high seas of sport!

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