Avast, matey! Watch out fer the bulldozers o' March, unearthing the month’s wildest tales—six jolly jaw- droppers, arrr!
2025-04-01
Arrr, matey! March be a tempest o' wild antics! From gold-plated Cheetos to scallywag scribblers leanin' far left, prepare yerselves for a treasure trove o' tales that'll make ye belly laugh and scratch yer noggin!
Ahoy, mateys! March be a month known fer its cursed reputation, much like the infamous Joan Jett! It all began with the dastardly deed of ol' Julius Caesar, who met his end with a knife from his mate Brutus. Now, this year, we’ve seen some princesses of ill repute. That Meghan Markle’s Netflix escapades be floppin’ harder than a fish out of water, and Disney’s own Rachel Zegler found herself in a right pickle with her "Snow White" remake.Then there’s the matter o’ the "Highway to Hell!" The good folks at a climate summit decided to carve a highway through the Amazon jungle, callin’ it the "Avenue of Liberty,” while zoomin’ about in gas-guzzlin’ chariots! Talk about missin’ the mark!
Now, lend yer ears to the tale o' a Cheeto sellin’ for $87,840! A mere snack shaped like a Pokémon, yet folks be throwin’ gold like it be treasure! And in Oregon, a lad named JD Holt claims “turtle” be among his pronouns. Aye, ye heard right!
Lastly, a Pennsylvania scallywag attempted to smuggle a live turtle in his trousers! Not quite the treasure one expects to find at the TSA! March, ye scallywag of a month, has given us many a laugh, and we’ll raise our grog to that! Yarrr!