The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Aurora's ruckus o' gangs didn't sprout like a scallywag's beard in a single night, I tell ye!

2024-09-13

Arrr, matey! The scallywags of TdA be sailin' to the U.S. with a crew o' 1,000! Blame it on the Biden-Harris hullabaloo, makin' the border a wild tempest, especially with those sanctuary ports lettin' in all manner o' ruffians! Avast, me hearties!

Avast ye landlubbers! A wild sight hath appeared in the fair town of Aurora, Colorado, where a band of ruffians be struttin’ about armed to the teeth, knockin’ on doors as if they be lookin’ for treasure! Rumor has it that this band be part of the Tren de Aragua gang, a notorious crew from far-off Venezuela, with a crew that could fill a ship or two!

This nefarious gang, founded in the dark depths of a prison, be sportin’ tattoos of all sorts, from crowns to gas masks, with a penchant for the legendary number 23—aye, they be fans of the great Michael Jordan! With the southern border as open as a drunken sailor’s wallet, more scallywags are sneakily sailin’ into the U.S. along with a tide of migrants, settin’ the stage for chaos.

Strangely enough, though, Aurora be not a sanctuary city, yet the folks therein be feelin’ the heat, as the city council tries to batten down the hatches against the influx. The local constabulary, bless their hearts, claim it ain't as dire as it seems. But when armed ruffians roam free, who be trustin’ the law? Unless we tighten our borders like a ship’s rigging, ye can bet yer doubloons that the trouble will only grow! So hoist the sails, Captain, for it be a stormy sea ahead!

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