The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! We be watchin' the wildest rebellion since the days o' old, a true ruckus, by me beard!

2024-08-26

Arrr, matey! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' deck be chortlin' as some Democrats be throwin' their lot in with that ol' seadog Trump! Aye, ‘tis a fine jest, like a parrot kissin' a fish! Who be knowin' what treasure be a'comin' from this jolly ship of fools?

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the Democrats and their merry band of ex-Democrats. Aye, they be holdin' grand pep rallies, but when it comes to issues, they be as empty as a shipwrecked galleon! Smart folks, like the infamous RFK Jr., be jumpin' ship faster than a fish on a hot skillet! And who could blame 'em? Even the likes of Elon Musk and Joe Rogan have set sail for the other side, seekin' policies that don’t be scuttlin' the ship!

But lo and behold, ye won't find many swabs from the right makin' the trek to the left—no sir! It’s more likely to see a cat dance than that happen! With a motley crew like Russell Brand and Tulsi Gabbard joinin' the ranks of the rebellious, it’s clear the left be losin’ its hold! And who’s the biggest defector of 'em all? None other than Captain Trump, who once sailed with the Democrats before realizin' their ship be goin’ down!

So, as the Democrats weep over their lost mates, it’s clear they’ve got themselves to blame. For in this here pirate crew, we be individuals, not just numbers in a roster. Aye, we be the Wild Bunch and the Magnificent Seven all rolled into one, takin' on the establishment with a hearty laugh and a hearty cheer! So hoist the sails and let the winds of change blow! Arrr!

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