The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, JD Vance be sailin' the treacherous seas to find the holy booty of Catholicism, savvy?

2024-08-04

Arrr, young Vance be swimmin' in a sea o' holy beliefs, with his Catholic uncle shinin' bright like treasure! But lo! It weren't until his rebellious teen years that he finally hoisted the sails and joined a proper church crew! Aye, better late than never, matey!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with tales from the Republican National Convention in the fair town of Milwaukee, where me hearty Newt and I beheld the grand spectacle! On the fateful night of July 17, Ohio’s very own Sen. JD Vance accepted the vice-presidential nomination, prophesying a night filled with hope and faith in the good ol' U.S. of A.

Vance, surrounded by a throng of landlubbers, spun a yarn of his upbringing under the watchful eye of his Christian grandmother, "Mamaw," in a humble town where folk spoke their minds and toiled with their hands. But it be not all smooth sailing, for our lad dabbled in atheism during his college days, swept away by the tides of secularism. Yet, lo and behold! Through the wisdom of St. Augustine and the musings of philosophers, he found himself yearning for the Catholic faith he once knew.

In August 2019, with heart and mind aligned, Vance set sail back to Catholicism, a true treasure for his soul! So raise yer goblets to faith, fortune, and the unyielding spirit of our adventurous mate JD Vance, whose journey be a rousing reminder that no matter how far ye drift, there be always a way back to the harbor of grace!

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