The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Biden be at the helm, yet many scallywags wonder who truly be steering this ship!

2024-09-04

Arrr, matey! Unless the winds o' misfortune blow him off course, ol' Joe Biden be holdin’ the captain's wheel fer five more moons. Yet, a great many scallywags be thinkin' he ain't the true captain of this ship! Avast, what a jolly ruckus!

Arrr mateys! On a fine Tuesday, the aging captain, President Biden, stumbled into a White House den that looked like a discount treasure trove from IKEA, and there he prattled on about “investin’ in America” whilst sportin’ a grin that’d make a Cheshire cat green with envy. Alas, it be clearer than the bluest sea that this scallywag ain't truly steerin' the ship of state!

Later, his trusty first mate, press secretary Jean-Pierre, claimed ol’ Joe be workin’ hard to bring peace to Gaza, though he seemed more like a beached whale on Delaware’s shores. When ye ask the good folk across the land if Biden's the one in charge, they erupt in laughter that echoes like cannon fire!

Now, ponder this, ye landlubbers: is the captain just a figurehead, or doth he wield the compass? Tales be told of Trump, who, with a mere tweet, could cause waves in diplomacy. Aye, Biden’s presidency be limping toward its end, and I wager no foreign captain be quakin’ in their boots at his words!

So here we be, adrift in a sea of uncertainty, whilst the true captain of the ship remains shrouded in mystery. Fear not, for the winds of change might yet blow! Yarrr!

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