The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! I be a lass who battled fer me fellow mermaids in sportin’ and claimed victory at the grand court o’ supreme!

2024-09-27

Arrr, I be a swashbucklin' lass of the schoolyard games! But alas, the fair maidens must share their quarters with landlubber lads. But lo! The Supreme Court be givin' me a chance to set sail and right this jolly mess! Aye, let’s hoist the sails of fairness!

Avast ye scallywags! A young lass in the tumultuous seas of high school be makin’ waves with the U.S. Supreme Court, finding favor in a grand legal battle! Arrr! With the winds favorin’ her ship, she sails forth to the Court of Appeals, free from the overreachin’ grasp of the Biden-Harris crew. The high court hath waved away the administration's attempts to hoist Title IX rules, which'd let lads invade lasses' spaces — a treacherous tide indeed!

Ye see, this brave buccaneer be standin’ up against unfairness that threatens her jolly times in the locker rooms and on the sportin’ fields. She’s been through the brunt of it, with a certain lad takin’ the lead in the races and throwin’ events, makin’ it harder for her and her fellow maidens to compete. And to add salt to the wound, he be makin’ crude comments in the midst of their shared quarters — a right foul business that it be!

With the winds of change blowin’, our heroine seeks to change the course of this stormy sea, challengin’ the notion that comfort must be cast aside for the sake of inclusion. “What’s the point of competition?” she cries! “When the treasure be held by those who don’t belong in our waters?” So hoist yer flags, and let’s see where this adventure sails next! Aye!

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