The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the Biden-Harris ruckus be batterin' Ohio! Here be ways for the landlubbers to fight the storm!

2024-07-31

Arrr, under Captain Biden’s command, 'tis nearly 20,000 Haitians what be settlin' in Springfield, Ohio — a wee port o' 60,000 souls! Now, the landlubbers be findin’ it harder than a peg leg to find a place to lay their heads! A right merry housing hullabaloo, it be!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round fer a tale o’ Springfield, Ohio, a wee town now swampt with nearly 20,000 Haitians, all thanks to Biden's border mischief! Aye, this little port o’ call, with its 60,000 souls, be strugglin’ under a mighty housing crisis, as City Manager Heck be shoutin' from the rooftops to the senators about their plight.

With a 33% swell in population since Biden took the helm, this be no small matter! The good folk o’ Springfield now be fightin’ tooth and nail fer a roof over their heads, what with the influx of illegal scallywags takin’ up all the lodgin’. The taxes be flowin’ to help these newcomers, while our own landlubbers struggle to make ends meet! Aye, 'tis a cruel fate!

But fear not, for Ohio’s able-bodied folk be lookin’ to chart a new course! With laws to tighten the noose on illegal settlements, and a call to banish sanctuary havens, they aim to reclaim their fair share o’ the land. It be high time the pirates o’ Springfield take back their town and weather this storm o’ mismanagement!

So raise yer mugs, me hearties, and let’s hope fer a brighter horizon, where the good folk o’ Ohio can find peace and prosperity once more!

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