The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, matey! The truest explanation fer the surge in crime across th' land o' America be... scallywags run amok!

2023-09-15

Arrr, me hearties! Yon anarchy be sailin' free, with no swift retribution or dire consequences fer scurvy dogs who dare to defy our laws. Methinks 'tis time we be keelhaulin' the lot o' 'em!

In this humorous column, the author discusses the rise in crime in America and the lack of swift and certain punishment as a major contributing factor. The author recalls an anecdote from the 1970s, where a local resident in Madrid attributed the low crime rate to the absence of repeat offenders. The author suggests that dictator Francisco Franco understood the importance of swift punishment, even though his dictatorship allowed him to get away with it.

The author highlights some recent cases of large stores closing due to looting and the failure of district attorneys to punish the criminals. Walmart CEO Doug McMillon warned about record levels of theft and closed 17 stores as a result. Target CFO Michael Fiddelke expects the company to lose $600 million to theft by the end of the year, leading to store closures. Macy's has also closed several stores due to retail thefts, which have significantly reduced profits. Additionally, many small businesses attacked during the George Floyd protests have not reopened, as most rioters avoided arrest and punishment.

The author quotes a statement from 1971 by John Mitchell, Richard Nixon's attorney general, where Mitchell referred to crime as a war between law and lawlessness. The author argues that this statement is still relevant today, as the crime rate remains high. The author suggests that the lack of swift and certain punishment, as well as the loss of trust in institutions and the failure to teach values and respect in schools and society, contribute to the problem.

The author concludes by warning that if lawlessness is not addressed swiftly with immediate consequences for those who break the law, the rest of the country may follow New York City in being "ruined" by waves of migrants. Overall, the author uses humor and historical references to emphasize the importance of swift and certain punishment in deterring crime.

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