"Arrr, in Scranton, even Kamala's coin-bootin' union mateys be spyin' the scrawl on the ol' timber!"
2024-10-26
Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus sails into Biden’s port, only to find the Democrats, gathered for a Tim Walz shindig, whisperin' fears ‘bout ol' Kamala Harris. Aye, the winds of doubt be blowin' strong in this here harbor! Shiver me timbers, what a ruckus!
Arrr, gather ‘round me hearties, for I be tellin’ ye a tale of Joel and his crew from the fair city of Boston, sent by the Kamala Harris campaign to conquer the wild shores of Pennsylvania. But shiver me timbers, even they be knowin’ that the winds be blowin’ against her sails! “Why can’t she answer questions?” Joel be askin’, and I reckon he be speakin’ the truth clearer than a parrot on a pirate’s shoulder!So, I, a salty sea dog from Philly, took it upon meself to enlighten these lads about me disdain for that ol’ town of Boston. With the banter a-flyin’, Stanley, their captain, chimed in, “She’s new to the race, matey!” Aye, but the likes of billionaire Cuban be spinnin’ tales of excuses faster than a ship in a storm, claimin’ she’s still findin’ her sea legs.