"Arrr, no surprise the Democrats be sweatin' like a sea dog in the sun!"
2024-09-05
Arrr, matey! Greg Gutfeld, that scallywag of Fox News, be chattin' 'bout the DOJ's feeble efforts to shoo away them sneaky Russians from meddlin' in the 2024 election! Aye, 'tis like tryin' to catch a slippery fish with a wooden net, I tell ye!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of tangled webs spun by the Department o' Justice and the FBI, who be investigatin’ the Russians meddlin’ in our grand elections! They done charged two scallywags from RT, a state-run media ship, fer tryin’ to sink the good ol’ U.S. with a $10 million treasure meant to boost ol’ Trump and his right-wing shenanigans.Now, they seized 32 domains, mimickin’ our news, spreadin’ tales of sky-high prices and crime from the illegals. Blimey, those topics sound all too familiar! It’s as if they be plunderin’ our own chest o’ issues. Aye, Russia be handin’ over ten million doubloons for tales I could spin fer just seven! Why, Fox spends that on hair and makeup alone!
But here’s the rub—ain’t it our own crew creatin’ chaos? Russia can’t be blamed fer our justice system chasin’ Trump like a dog on a scent. And why be Iran sailin’ free when they’ve tried to take down the Donald? They’re busy hackin’ and fundin’ chaos while we squabble over Russian tales!
So, while I may not want foreign rogues meddlin’, I reckon I’d take their interference over our own folly any day! The Dems be sweatin’ bullets ‘cause they hate competition. Now, where’s me rum?