The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! TikTok be a cursed treasure, Biden's border madness be creepin' into the suburbs, as told by Fox News.

2024-03-12

Avast ye! Take a gander at the tidings from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. 'Tis sure to shiver yer timbers and tickle yer funny bone! Arrrrgh!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, ye scallywags at Fox News be talkin' 'bout the president's response to migrant crime after the unfortunate killin' of Laken Riley. Hannity be callin' out the president for bein' a terrible leader, arrr!But hold on to yer hats, me hearties, 'cuz Hugh Hewitt be talkin' 'bout the border and 'Catholic social teachin'. It be a real swashbucklin' tale, mateys!Triple threat be lurkin' on the horizon, with inflation, interest rates, and immigration all hurtin' American workers thanks to Biden's policies. Aye, it be a treacherous sea we be sailin'!Gutfeld be wonderin' why they be goin' after folks who can't stand Letitia James. It be a mystery as deep as the ocean, me mateys!Mike Pence be warnin' us that TikTok be like digital fentanyl, and Congress and Biden need to act afore it be too late. Shiver me timbers!Laura Ingraham be givin' her take on Biden's regret over callin' Laken Riley's alleged murderer 'illegal'. It be a tale of treachery and regret on the high seas!The clock be tickin', as a TikTok user's freakout reveals a secret the owners be tryin' to hide. Aye, it be a dark secret, me hearties!Biden's border crisis be comin' to the suburbs, me mateys. The threat be lurkin' closer than ye think!No rest for the woke, as they be demandin' more and more like a relentless storm. Set yer clocks by their constant demands, me hearties!And don't forget to check out the cartoon of the day, me buckos. It be a jolly good laugh to lighten the mood in these troubled times!

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