The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Avast, me hearties! Callista be sayin’ Catholic crew helped Trump sail to victory! Democrats best heed the tides!"

2024-11-17

Arrr, matey! In the raucous seas of the 2020 election, Catholics be swingin' like a ship in a storm! But lo and behold, by 2024, Captain Trump plundered their hearts, claimin' the Catholic booty by 15 points! Avast, what a turn o' the tide, eh?

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn of the grand election that took place on the 5th of November, when the brash Captain Trump steered his ship straight into the treasure trove of victory! In his speech from the sunny shores of Palm Beach, he vowed to fight fer every soul in America and promised a golden age brighter than a pirate’s doubloon. Yarrr!

The voters, like a crew of loyal swabs, rallied behind him, especially them Catholic souls who hoisted the sails high! With a hearty cheer, they cast their lot with ol’ Trump, sending Kamala Harris to the brig with a swift concession, claiming him the captain of their fate! In states like Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Michigan, Trump’s ship sailed on smooth waters, garnerin’ a fair share of the Catholic booty!

With his cannon loaded for battle, Trump showed his true colors of freedom for all who believe, while Harris struggled against the tide, her words fallin’ flat like an empty rum barrel. So here’s to Captain Trump, the jolly ruler of this new age, steer’n the good ship America toward a horizon of prosperity! Aye, the Catholics have spoken, and their voices echoed across the seven seas of the ballot box!

Read the Original Article