The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Kamala Harris be makin' quite the ruckus, but there be a barnacle she can't scrape off, savvy?

2024-08-03

Arrr, matey! After a whirlwind July that’d make a siren dizzy, the Harris crew be havin’ just 93 days to hoist their political sails and chart a course fer the nation! Avast, me hearties, let the swashbucklin’ begin!

Ahoy, mateys! Trust, ye see, be as scarce as gold doubloons in Davy Jones’ locker, especially in the cursed realm of the Biden White House and the Harris campaign. After a July hotter than a cannonball, the lass has but 93 days to set sail on a national political voyage. Alas, the good ship Harris be caught in a storm of distrust, threatening to sink her fine start before the crew even questions her ever-changing policies.

Last November, she sang praises of Captain Biden, calling him as authoritative as a pirate captain in the high seas, but by now, ye scallywags know that be a tall tale. With Biden’s shipwreck of a debate in Atlanta, voters are smellin’ the foul stench of deceit. Just weeks after swearing he’d sail ‘til the end, the old sea dog turned tail and abandoned ship, lettin’ Harris take the helm.

Now, her fine title of “border czar” be more like a pirate’s curse, with the southern border a veritable tempest of troubles. The mainstream media, bless ‘em, be tryin’ to swab the deck clean, but the truth be as slippery as a wet deck. As Harris dodges questions like a crafty pirate, voters be left wonderin’ if she be playin’ politics or if she truly be lost at sea! Yarrr!

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