The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, I be a battle-scarred matey! Trump’s treated us old sea dogs right, so I be castin' me lot with him!"

2024-10-28

Arrr, matey! Donald Trump be fretin' over the brave sea dogs and ol' salts who fought for our fair lands. As a scarred warrior meself, I’ve felt his heart warmer than a rum barrel on a cold night! Aye, he cares, like a parrot loves a shoulder!

Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' me adventures with none other than the former Captain o' the White House, Donald Trump, aboard his grand vessel, Air Force One! Aye, I be sportin’ two fine prosthetic legs, and I can tell ye, Trump be caring for our brave buccaneers in uniform like a true captain of the seas!

This scallywag ain't the heartless seadog ye might think! Nay, he be larger than life, showin' respect for our wounded warriors, like a fine captain takin’ time to chat with his crew. Over Big Macs and tunes of the great Pavarotti, he asks about me battles and the brave souls I fought alongside. Aye, he even lends a hand when climbin’ those steep stairs, proving he's got the heart of a lion!

But beware, mateys! The current crew under Biden be lettin' our brave soldiers down, treatin’ them like shoddy cannon fodder while givin' free room to landlubbers! Trump, however, be the captain we need, fightin' for a nation worthy of our sacrifices. So, as ye sail into the future, remember, Trump be the man who respects our crew, while ol’ Biden be makin’ the seas tumultuous for our sailors and soldiers! Yarrr!

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