The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Trump and Harris clash like stormy seas—October’s mischief be here, hoist the sails of chaos!

2024-10-08

Arrr, as the daring rescue crew set sail, Captain Alejandro Mayorkas be shoutin' from the crow's nest that the treasure chest be nearly empty! The federal crew be close to runnin' out of doubloons for them hurricane mischiefs. Arrr, time to swab the deck and find some gold!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' the infamous "October surprise" – a tempest brewin' that could sway the fate o' the 2024 presidential race! Hurricane Helene be the harbinger, but the real shock be the bumbling efforts o' Vice President Kamala Harris and her scallywag crew at the White House, claimin' they be spendin' treasure on illegal immigrants whilst lettin' the hurricane victims go adrift!

As the storm wreaked havoc, our matey Mayorkas warned that FEMA be runnin' low on doubloons for recovery, even after ol' Biden signed a bill fillin' their coffers with $20 billion. Meanwhile, as folks in Carolina be strugglin', our dear Kamala be frettin' about Lebanon instead! Talk about bein' off course, eh?

When she finally set sail to the stricken lands, the best she could offer was a meager $750 to families lost in the waves! Critics be howlin', comparin' her aid to the lavish spoils sent to Ukraine. With the winds of Hurricane Milton on the horizon, one wonders if the crew will right their ship or sink further into the murky waters of mediocrity!

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