The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, ye scurvy dogs! Behold, the landlubber GREG GUTFELD claims conduct be nay important no more, fer identity reigns supreme!

2023-12-12

Avast ye scallywags! The scurvy dogs on the 'Gutfeld!' panel be chattering 'bout Harvard's groggy response to the yapping of their captain, Claudine Gay, in front of them landlubber Congress. Arrr, what a sight fer sore eyes!

In this humorous 17th-century pirate language, the author discusses the recent events surrounding universities and their political insanity. They start by humorously stating that hell has frozen over, comparing it to Hillary Clinton needing ice skates. This is in reference to universities losing support from both CNN and Fareed Zakaria, which the author finds surprising. The author then shares Fareed Zakaria's call for universities to abandon their political insanity and focus on their core strengths of research and learning. The author jokingly expresses shock at Zakaria's accurate statement.

The author goes on to criticize the lack of political diversity in universities, which they believe hinders their ability to create an environment of learning and fellowship. They use humor to highlight the absurdity of ideologies disguised as majors and the inflated grades in universities. The author also mentions recent incidents of protests and the lack of free speech on campuses. They criticize the hearings on campus antisemitism and point out the exemption of Jews from protections given to others.

The author then shifts their focus to Claudine Gay, the president of Harvard, and her handling of speech codes and plagiarism accusations. They criticize Harvard's support of her despite the accusations and argue that she represents the identity politics prevalent in academia. The author also mentions the APA's claim that attacks on female presidents are due to their gender. They use humor to highlight the absurdity of prioritizing identity over conduct and truth.

In conclusion, the author questions the value of paying for university education that is tainted by political biases and dishonesty. They humorously suggest starting their own university, Gutfeld U, with their dog Gus as the president. They highlight the importance of honesty and taking responsibility for one's actions, contrasting it with the behavior of university leaders.

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