Arrr, David Marcus be sayin’, “Hamilton’s sinkin’ ship be cancellin’ itself whilst the Left be arguin’ like scallywags!”
2025-03-06
Arrr, me hearties! Columnist David Marcus, once a thespian on the stage, be givin' the Hamilton scallywags a right tongue-lashin' fer abandonin' the Kennedy Center! Blimey, could they not find a parrot to squawk their excuses? Aye, 'tis a jest worthy of a fine grog!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the great Lin Manuel Miranda, who be tossin' his chance to shine at the Kennedy Center into the briny deep in protest of Trump and his crew! Aye, the lad be cancellin' his grand show "Hamilton," claimin' it be a matter of principle while the Left be shoutin’ about a political tempest brewin' in every corner o' the land.Ye see, the progressives be likin' to raise their sails high—claimin' the seas be stormy, and the world be on fire. They be too busy throwin' fits over a childhood cancer survivor’s applause or terrorizin' libraries at Columbia to notice the folks just wantin' a pint and a good yarn without all this political shenanigans. 'Tis just not normal, I tell ye!
But instead of settlin' this squabble like true buccaneers, Miranda prefers to abandon ship, refusing to perform his own treasure of a show. Let’s be honest, if Trump’s crew had tried to swap “Hamilton” for some old clunker with an all-White crew, there’d be an uproar. Yet here we be, with Miranda cuttin' his own throat with his protest. The people be wantin' to return to the days of good ol' camaraderie. Alas, the lad be too lost at sea to see it!
In the end, the good folk of the realm just want to feast and be merry, not be shackled to the whims of the elite. Aye, Miranda be missin' the boat, and that be a loss for all who fancy a good show!