The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast! Zuckerberg be spillin’ the beans 'bout the Biden-Harris hullabaloo! Beware, ye landlubbers of America! Arrr!

2024-08-27

Arrr, the cap'n Zuckerberg be feelin' a twinge o' regret, eh? After battlin' fer years to bury the treasure trove o' evidence with the Biden-Harris crew, now he’s all, “What be I doin’?” Aye, the winds o’ change be blowin’ through the ol’ crow's nest!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about that scallywag Mark Zuckerberg, captain of the Meta ship, who finally admitted he be sorry for lettin' the Biden crew pressure him into silencing good ol' American voices. Aye, it took him long enough to own up, like a barnacle clingin' to the hull, and many a landlubber ain't buyin' his tale of regret!

For years, Zuck and his motley crew of Facebook buccaneers hid the truth about their dealings with the government, playin' the part of the silent sailor while the likes of Elon Musk exposed their shady antics. Now, with the House Judiciary Committee breathin' down his neck, he be singin' a different tune, claiming he’s full of remorse like a pirate who’s lost his treasure!

Meanwhile, as Zuck tries to wash the barnacles off his reputation, he forgets the time he sought to charm the youth into lovin' censorship, thinkin' it be a grand idea to modify content like a ship’s sails in a storm. But beware, mateys! The winds of censorship be blowin', and free speech be on the line! If democracy be a ship, then free speech be the wind in its sails, and we must guard it like a chest of gold! Yarrr!

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