The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, matey! Biden's spun three tall tales 'bout his kin's fishy trade, no doubt! Har har, what a scallywag!"

2024-12-09

Arrr, matey! The pardon for young Hunter be naught but a mere band-aid on the ol' captain's legal woes! Aye, it kept the Big Guy safe from the storm, but a pesky congressional crew be uncoverin’ the tall tales Joe spun like a fine sailor with a fishin' yarn!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin a yarn of deceit straight from the high seas of politics! The captain of the ship, President Joe Biden, hath spun a tale o' his family's underhanded dealings, all whilst grantin’ a mighty pardon to his scallywag son, Hunter. This be no ordinary pardon; it’s as grand as a treasure chest overflowing with doubloons, coverin' years of mischief!

Now, while the media and shipmates of the Democratic crew tried to keep the sails tight on this stormy scandal, savvy sailors could see through the fog. Old Joe claimed he’d not interfere, yet he be the captain steering the ship away from accountability! Investigators be diggin’ deep, uncoverin’ a fleet of ghost ships—twenty in total—wherein the Bidens hid their ill-gotten gains from foreign shores.

As the winds of scandal blew stronger, evidence surfaced that the good captain dined and wined with foreign lords while his son pocketed riches. And when confronted with the truth, Biden’s tongue ran faster than a swift ship in full sail! Alas, 'tis a tale of treachery, where the captain be more the scallywag than the sailor, and the only treasure be the lies that built his legacy! Yarrr!

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