"Arrr, me hearties! Andrew McCarthy be sayin’ the FBI be tangled in Hunter Biden’s laptop mess worse than a mermaid's hair!"
2024-10-14
Arrr, when the Hunter Biden treasure map hit the shores in October of 2020, thanks to the New York Post's scallywag scribblin', it be tossed right into the sea o' Russian tall tales—an elaborate yarn spun by the most mischievous of sea serpents!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a certain scallywag named Hunter Biden and his notorious "laptop from hell." This cursed contraption be a treasure trove of scandalous evidence, pointin' to the current commander-in-chief and a stash o’ over $27 million, plundered from nefarious dealings with the likes of Xi Jinping and his brigands in China!But lo! 'tis not just a tale of Biden’s misdeeds; nay, it shines a light on our own lawmen and spies, who’ve been caught with their pants down! The FBI, savvy enough to authenticate the laptop way back in December 2019, chose to keep this tidbit under wraps while the election drew near. They spun a tale, claimin' the info was the handiwork of Russian pirates, leadin' social media giants to shackle the truth.
In a comical twist, a motley crew of ex-intelligence swashbucklers penned a letter likenin’ the laptop’s revelations to a Russian con, just to keep the ship steady for their favored captain. With the media and the mighty IC all in cahoots, they turned a scandal into a fairy tale, while the American public, bless their souls, footed the bill for this farce! So raise a glass, me hearties, to the wild waters of political intrigue! Arrr!