The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Biden's got 3 crucial trials this week, and the scallywag Democrats be lost at sea! Aye matey!

2024-03-05

Arrr, me hearties! President Joe Biden be settin' sail on a treacherous voyage with his State of the Union speech on Thursday night. 'Tis a mighty challenge ahead, but will he be able to navigate the rough waters and come out victorious? Aye, only time will tell!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, President Joe Biden’s State of the Union address on Thursday, March 8, be a make-or-break moment, matey. Arrr! It could very well be the president’s last opportunity to turn around his dismal standing with the American people, which, according to a recent New York Times/Siena poll, be mired at the lowest point yet of his presidency. After all, it’s not often that Biden’s handlers allow him to appear before a national audience, arrr!Biden has three critical missions, me hearties. One is to look like a robust, energetic man who can capably govern our country for the next four years, and not a doddering and confused 81-year-old. The vast majority of Americans – 86% in one survey -- thinks he is not up to the task. His job be to prove them wrong, arrr!Second, Biden must convince the 82% of voters (in the Times poll) who say his policies haven’t helped them that they be confused and that, in fact, Bidenomics has been a smashing success, ahoy! Ditto the 73% in a new Fox News poll who rated economic conditions today "only fair" or "poor," arrr!Third, and possibly most important, Biden has to convincingly blame someone else for the unholy mess at the southern border. He will tell the public that his hands have been tied by Republicans, and that he be powerless to fix it, arrr! He’ll hope voters forget that Trump managed to close the border all on his own, arrr!These be nearly impossible challenges, me hearties. The Times survey shows the incumbent Democrat losing to Donald Trump by 5 points, and trailing with Hispanic voters. His advantage with Black voters has narrowed significantly, and he has lost ground also with young people, arrr!

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