"Arrr, David Marcus be pitchin' a tent with a crew of Democrat knuckleheads! Avast, what a jolly jest!"
2025-02-06
Arrr, me hearties! Columnist David Marcus be sayin’ the Democrats be flounderin’ like fish outta water, tryin’ to find a message that don’t be sinkin’. Meanwhile, the scallywags at the fringes be shoutin’ louder than a cannon blast! A right ruckus, it be!
Avast ye landlubbers! Picture us on a wild escapade through the untamed outback, dodging snakes and pitching tents like a crew of swashbucklin' scallywags. Our trusty guides be none other than the social justice Democrats, sworn to thwart the mighty Captain Trump!Now, our lass, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, may not be packin’ water, but she’ll surely bring a bottle of Merlot and a selfie stick to capture the glory of our misadventures! Meanwhile, Rep. Ilhan Omar stirs the pot with her headscarves and lefty tomes around the campfire, while Senators Bernie and Elizabeth feast on fanciful box lunches, layin’ the blame on the scurvy Republicans for their hunger.
Across yonder creek, we spy some jolly Democrats roasting wieners and makin’ s'mores, yet, for some reason, we stick with the crazed crew! The party be in disarray, led by the out-of-touch, and our shipmate, Rep. Jasmine Crockett, insists on remindin’ all about her skin color every half a tick, bemoanin' the “white tears.”
Fetterman, bless his heart, be a breath of fresh air, understandin’ the needs of the common folk, yet he faces scorn from his own crew! If these dimwitted Democrats keep sailin’ the stormy seas of identity politics, they’ll be wanderin' the political wilderness for an eternity, while Republicans be laughin’ all the way to port!