The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Here be the yarn Biden oughta spun fer the quarrelin’ United Nations sea dogs!"

2024-10-03

Arrr! In his grand parley at the United Nations, Biden be needin’ to shout, "Ye olde U.N. be sailin' off course! If it hopes to keep its relevance, it must be reimagined, or be prepared to walk the plank!” A jolly jest, indeed!

Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round for a tale as old as the seas—the United Nations, that grand ship o’ diplomacy, be adrift in treacherous waters! Last week, our captain, President Biden, spoke of makin' the U.N. a jolly good vessel with “new voices.” But what he ought t’ declare is that the U.N. be as lost as a drunken sailor on a foggy night!

Once, this fine crew was set to rebuild the world after the great wars, but now it be givin' too much power to scallywags like China and Russia. These rogues be usin' their influence to turn the good ship against its own mission, like a mutinous crew! Why, Russia chaired a meetin' while invadin' Ukraine, and China be hidin' from the truth about a nasty plague!

Instead of sweet nothings about cooperation, the next captain should sound the alarm on these knaves, callin' out their misdeeds, and defendin' allies like Israel from unfair accusations. The seas be churnin’, and if we want our ship t’ sail straight, it’s high time we reimagine our course and gather our trusty mates from democratic waters, lest we find ourselves in Davy Jones' locker!

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