Arrr, says Speaker Johnson: Only true sea dogs should steer this ship! Here be how Congress can keep the treasure true!
2024-08-12
Arrr, matey! The scallywags be yappin' 'bout noncitizen voting! Only true blue Americans should be steerin' the ship o' elections! Congress has the treasure map, but those Democrats be actin' like landlubbers who won’t share the booty! Aye, what a hullabaloo!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the great ship called Democracy, sailin' on treacherous seas of election integrity! The good folk demand a fair vote, yet a band o' 198 landlubber Democrats chose to leave the hatch open for fraud, lettin' noncitizens board the vessel and cast their votes. Yarr, it be a dire peril!Picture it, every major port—er, state—where a scallywag can swagger into a DMV, fillin' out a federal voter form with nary a proof of citizenship! These rascals can tip the scales of our fair nation’s direction, makin’ a mockery of our sacred elections!
The brave souls guardin’ our borders be overwhelmed, forced to process illegals like they be sheep in a flock! Meanwhile, the loophole in the National Voter Registration Act keeps states from askin' for proof of citizenship. Aye, House Republicans concocted the SAVE Act to close this gap, ensurin' that only true Americans be castin’ ballots, cleanin’ up the rolls and givin’ state officials access to the treasure maps of federal databases!
Alas, the Democrats be resistin’ this act, lettin' illegal buccaneers sail in our electoral waters! In a time when every vote be as precious as gold doubloons, we must rally for the SAVE Act to protect our ship from mutiny and uphold the sanctity of our elections! Hoist the flags and call upon ol’ Schumer to bring this bill to port! Arrr!