The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the jolly antics o' Kamala be over! Now, let the scallywags o' legacy media don their serious hats!

2024-08-24

Arrr, me hearties! Beware the siren's call o' this 'joyful warrior' chatter! It be naught but a clever ruse, with news networks spinnin' tales like savvy merchants hawkin' their wares. Keep yer wits about ye, lest ye be sold a sack o' seaweed!

Arrr matey! It be plain as a parrot on me shoulder that since the former captain of the ship, Donald Trump, dodged a near-death cannonball, and President Joe Biden waved the white flag, the Democratic crew be switchin’ their tune from "Threat to Democracy" to "Joyful Warriors!" Aye, they cranked up the merriment at the Democratic shindig in Chicago, even though the seas be stormy with high prices and a tide of illegal immigration flooding the ship's hold.

But here’s the rub, me hearties! Shouldn’t this grand election be about governing and not just a jolly jig? The media be drownin’ us in a sea of superficial joy and celebrity bluster, whilst policy specifics be left to sink like a lead anchor. Meanwhile, ol’ Trump be callin’ out the hypocrisy of it all, sayin’ the Democrats are all about personal jabs instead of policy talk, while the news be fixin’ to ignore the real battles.

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