The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Kamala's $8 billion plunderin' spree hath sunk California like a ship full o' rum! Bwahaha!

2024-08-09

Arrr matey! In the fair land of California, thievery be a-sailin’ high seas! 'Tis no mere mischief, but a grand $8 billion treasure hunt run by crafty scallywags known as “rip crews.” Aye, the buccaneers of the streets be plunderin’ like never before!

Arrr mateys! What be this new profession brewin’ in the land of sunshine and surf? Why, it be the dubious trade of "shoplifting entrepreneur," a fancy title for those brigands pilferin' goods left and right! In California, this thievin' spree be a bonnie $8 billion yearly venture, where bands of rogues—known as "rip crews"—empty stores and sell their ill-gotten gains, only to return like scallywags to plunder again!

But what be causin' this lawlessness, ye ask? It seems the former attorney general, our current VP, Kamala Harris, brewed a potent potion of chaos with her lovey-dovey policies for the criminals! From callin' for defundin' the police to givin' thieves a free pass, she sailed the state into murky waters. Now, the “Flash Rob Summer” be pillagin' high-end havens like Gucci and Nike.

Yet, hope shines like a treasure chest, as Proposition 36 be settin' sail this November! This mighty measure seeks to undo the folly of Prop 47, makin' thieves think twice with tougher punishments. With support from lawmen and mayors alike, this initiative be takin' a stand against the brigands plaguin' the streets. So, hoist the sails and let’s reclaim our fair California from the grasp of these rascally rogues! Yarrr!

Read the Original Article