Arrr, matey! Them swabs in California be usin' their ship's authority to keelhaul good ol' Elon Musk, I say!
2024-10-15
Arrr, ye scallywags! The crafty crew o’ Gutfeld be a-chortlin’ as the California Coastal Commission tossed SpaceX's hopes o' sendin’ more cannonballs to the stars from Vandenberg! Seems the sea of red tape be thicker than Davy Jones' beard! Avast, back to the drawing board, ye skyward dreamers!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of bureaucratic blunders and rocket mischief! Last week, the California Coastal Commission, a band o' landlubbers, put a stop to SpaceX's quest to launch yer fancy rockets from Vandenberg Space Force Base! They claim to care 'bout Mother Nature and the loud booms scarin' the scallywags sleepin' under tents. After all, ye can't be risin' 'n' shinin' disturb the 180,000 souls snoozin' before noon, eh?But here's the kicker—these skyward journeys be happenin' fer 70 years! Methinks they're more vexed by Captain Musk's political antics than the rockets themselves! Chairwoman Caryl Hart be blubberin' 'bout how Musk's strayin' from the Democratic ship. Meanwhile, Commissioner Mike Wilson frets 'bout the richest pirate on the high seas havin' too much say in global chatter. Arrr, jealousy be a nasty sea serpent!
Then come the snickers from Commissioner Gretchen Newsom, pokin' fun at Musk helpin' hurricane victims like a true buccaneer! She be shufflin’ papers whilst Musk be givin' better service than the public libraries. These bureaucratic bilge rats be more concerned with keepin' their cushy spots than protectin' the seas, and Musk be ready to unleash a lawsuit! Let it be known, mateys, in the realm of adventure, bureaucrats can't hold a candle to a true captain like Musk! So hoist the sails and let the rockets soar, for the stars await! Yarrr!