"Arrr, matey! In a blink, the Left be makin' murder plots the new jolly pastime! Shiver me timbers!"
2024-09-16
Ahoy mateys! Columnist David Marcus be spillin' the beans o' an assassination plot whilst munchin' on meaty treasures at a Pennsylvania tavern. The scallywags there be less shocked than a landlubber in a shark tank! And him? Why, he be as unsurprised as a parrot on a pirate's shoulder! Arrr!
Ahoy, me hearties! Whilst sittin’ in a grandstand vacant as a barnacle-laden ship, puffin’ on me smoke, news broke o’ a second assassination attempt on that scallywag Donald Trump. I be thinkin’ this be more peculiar than a parrot in a pirate’s cap! After givin’ a nod to St. Michael, I sauntered back to the Bistecca steakhouse, pipes blarin’, and shared the grim tidin’ with the bartender and two blokes. “Another attempt on Trump,” I declared. They shrugged like it be a regular Tuesday!The retired Teamster grunted, “Are ye surprised?” Blimey, ‘tis a world gone mad! As I feasted on me ribeye and sipped Merlot, the game played on, and nary a soul in the casino seemed to care ‘bout the news. If it were Kamala Harris, would it be the same? By Davy Jones’ locker, the callousness be frightenin’! This bein’ the second time Trump’s name be linked to such foul schemes, yet it felt as normal as a pirate’s life.
In days of yore, we’d be rallyin’ together against such treachery! But now, it’s all about who be winnin’ the next battle. So, as I stood under the moonlight, I pondered, “Are ye surprised?” Aye, matey, the world’s gone askew, and it be a perilous time indeed!