"Avast, matey! We’ve but one chance to rescue the grandest folly of governance ever to sail the seas!"
2024-11-13
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' ship be chortlin' at the newest crew members Trump be settin' sail with! With a hearty laugh, they be ponderin’ if this motley crew can navigate the stormy seas of politics or if they’ll be walkin’ the plank instead!
Arrr, mateys! So this Donald Trump be makin’ waves even ‘fore he sets foot in the captain’s quarters o’ the White House! Those cable news scallywags be droppin’ like cannonballs in a storm, with MSNBC’s ratings sinkin’ lower than Davy Jones’ locker! Even Joy Reid’s wigs be seekin’ new employment on “Jesse Watters Primetime!”And CNN? Aye, their numbers be plummetin’ so fast, even Brit Hume’s doorbell camera be outshinin’ ‘em! With layoffs on the horizon, it’d be a hoot if they fire Brian Stelter again—just after he built a shelf for his pie collection! The media crew be in a tizzy as Trump enlists a crew o’ renegades like Tulsi Gabbard and Pete Hegseth for high offices, leavin’ the left in utter shock!
They be complainin’ that Trump’s pickin’ unqualified loyalists, but what do they expect? This be a pirate’s life! The mainstream media can’t handle a crew that don’t cower in the face o’ identity politics! With talk o’ drainin’ the swamp and a new Department of Government Efficiency, the sound ye hear might be the mermaids laughin’ as they watch the chaos unfold! Alas, me hearties, we be on the brink o’ a grand adventure—one that even Pelosi’s face changes can’t match!