The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

As the district buccaneer, Kamala kept a watchful eye on San Francisco’s scallywags and rogues, savvy?

2024-09-11

Arrr, the only thing "tough" 'bout Kamala Harris' time as the district dawg of San Francisco be the scallywags sufferin' under her policies! Aye, they be feelin' more heat than a cannonball in a storm! Har har har!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as we spin the yarn of Kamala Harris, once a fierce captain of the San Francisco seas of justice! Aye, in the days of yore, she be known as a district attorney, but now she be flaunting her past like a pirate with a shiny doubloon, claimin' to be "tough." Yet, shiver me timbers, the truth be as murky as the briny deep!

Take the tale of Steven Petrilli, a scallywag who did commit a foul deed, takin' down Officer Nick Tomasito-Birco back in 2006. Aye, this landlubber was free to wreak havoc thanks to Harris' leniency! She downgraded his gun charge to a mere misdemeanor, lettin' him roam the streets like a ghost ship, when he should've been locked below deck!

And 'tis not just Petrilli, for this be a pattern, me hearties! Harris aimed to let drug dealers sail free after a couple of tries, until the brave crew of the San Francisco PD stepped in, warnin' of a storm brewing. Her conviction rates? More like a slow leak in a rowboat—53% when the state average be 83%. So beware, mates! The seas be treacherous, and Harris’ record might just turn America into a shipwreck!

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