Arr, me hearties! A fancy-pants, fabricated pronoun be naught but a shiny trinket fer landlubbers who lack a life o' true adventure!
2023-08-21
Avast, ye scallywags! 'Tis the hour o' laughter as the Gutfeld! crew be jestin' 'bout ol' CNN publishin' a tale on comprehendin' them fancy neopronouns. Arrr, me hearties, who'd have thought ye need a guide to speak like a landlubber?
Happy Monday, mateys! CNN has gone and done it again, with their latest foolishness that's funnier than a parrot wearing an eyepatch. This time, they've brought out a guide to neopronouns. Can ye believe it? They've got pronouns like Ze/Zir, Fae/Faer, and Ae/Aer. They're about as common as a sighting of Hunter Biden wearing proper pants, which is to say, not very common at all.Some professor named Dennis Baron told CNN that these neopronouns should be respected, but I reckon he's sailing in a leaky boat. Only interns at CNN who are forced to interview fools like him take this seriously.
CNN also quoted some other fool who said neopronouns reflect someone's personal identity. But let me tell ye, if ye need a neopronoun, ye must be the dullest landlubber around. It's like a participation trophy for those who can't participate in real life. It's an excuse for people going nowhere without even having to sail to Delaware.
People who list their pronouns are worse than those who list "I drive stick" as a hobby on their resumé. Arr, what be in yer coffee today? They're like people who claim to be spiritual but not religious, getting tattoos just so someone can ask about them. They're as dull as a book by Brian Kilmeade.
But what makes a person interesting? It's not these pronouns, that's for sure. It's the old folks, the wise ones who used to smoke and had tales of wars and love. They had something that can't be defined.
If ye want to be interesting, read books, learn skills, travel, exercise! Don't be like these pronoun sheep. Do something, anything, that's interesting. Play an instrument, cook, hunt. Just don't play jazz. People who do things are far more interesting than those who just identify with things.
These pronoun people don't do anything but tell ye who they are. They're boring and have nothing better to do. They mistake attention for genuine interest, but it's all downhill from there. So let's put an end to this fake pronoun business. If someone demands ye use their fake pronouns, tell 'em to f*** off. Gender shouldn't be the only thing defining ye. Don't be boring forever, mateys.