The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, who be takin' the blame fer the port ruckus? Rest in Pieces, 'Never Trump,' and more jests from Fox News!"

2024-10-04

Avast ye scallywags! Set yer eyes upon the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer gaze on the jolly antics of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a motley crew o' others! Aye, ‘tis a treasure trove of mirth for yer merry amusement!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as we spin a yarn 'bout the ruckus on the high seas o' news! First off, the scallywag Hannity be rantin' like a parrot with a thorn in its paw, claimin' the hurricane relief be as useful as a ship with a hole in its hull! Arr, the poor souls be abandoned, he cries!

Next, we have the wise Hugh Hewitt, chattin' 'bout Kamala Harris and her crew, sayin' she be pickin' mates worse than a captain choosin' barnacles over gold! Aye, the VP debate be a fine example of her questionable judgment!

Then, in a turn o' events, we hear of threats from the land of Iran, ponderin' six dreadful ways they might strike us, be it from the Mideast or right in our own backyards! Blimey!

Our good mate Gutfeld warns us that ignorance be a dangerous beast these days! And in Los Angeles, they be dreamin' of a car-free 2028 Olympics, but it smells fishy, like a three-day-old catch!

Meanwhile, Tim Walz be compared to a butterfly with clipped wings, and the blame game be afoot for the port strike, with fingers pointin' everywhere but at the labor or management! Lastly, as the Southeast sinks and the Middle East sparks, folks be wonderin', where’s President Biden? Aye, that be the tale for today!

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